It has been a little over a month, and it still doesn't feel real. I have started this post at least five times, and I just can't seem to finish it. Perhaps it's that whole if you write it down then it is final thing, but it is real, and I do need to write about it.
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My Grandaddy died on April 27, 2014. I was in the middle of the football field at church. I was holding Avaree's blue sno cone and pushing the giant double stroller with one hand while Felicity was screaming, and I somehow noticed my phone light up in the cup holder. I saw that it was my brother, and I said, "Hey, can I call you back? We're fixing to start the 5k." He said, "Umm…no. Allison, Grandaddy might have died. They are still trying to resuscitate him, but they have been trying for over thirty minutes." I lost it, and then I scanned the field for Brandon. He quickly appeared, and I handed him the phone. I grabbed Felicity out of the stroller and just stood there. I quickly forgot that there were several hundred people around me. My sweet friend Kristen appeared out of nowhere and gave me a hug. Pastor Eric told Brandon to just take care of us and do whatever we needed to do, so we just headed straight to our car. About thirty minutes later, I was on the phone with the paramedic when they called the time of death. I already knew in my heart that he was gone, but that did not make it any easier to hear.
There were a few more phone calls. I talked to Kenneth, Maw Maw, Mom, the paramedic, and Gary, and I also talked to Spencer a few more times, and then I talked to Liz as I tried to prepare all four of us to leave as soon as possible.
We walked into Maw Maw and Grandaddy's house at 11:30pm. The girls had both woken up when we got there, so we just all went over there. There were lots of tears and hugs. We went next door to Mom's and put the girls to bed soon after, and we finally went to sleep around 3 am. The next day was filled with going to the funeral home, the flower shop, the cemetery, and just trying to help in any way that we could. B was amazing and stayed home with the girls all day. The next day was the visitation, and the next day was the funeral. I saw so many people that have meant so much to our family for so many years, and it was really neat to hear the Grandaddy stories from everyone.
I have several "lives." I have my Bridge City life, my Hemphill life, my college life, and my married life. My Grandaddy was a part of all of those, and those that were close to me throughout any stage of my life knew him and loved him. It was such a gift to hear them see that.
Through it all, my Maw Maw was amazing. She blew me away with her strength.
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Thoughts on my Grandaddy…
It feels like next time I go home, I will just climb up those four steps, run across their driveway, open the door, and then I will hear "Here she comes, Miss Al-li-son," and I will hug Maw Maw, and then if Grandaddy is sitting in his chair, I will bend down and kiss his soft forehead, but if he is standing in the kitchen, I will reach up and kiss his cheek. He'll ask me how things are going, and then we'll visit for awhile. He will tell me all about his new lunch program at school, brag on how beautiful Maw Maw looks, and ask me about my thoughts on the new changes to the SAT. At any moment that I am with my grandparents, I can instantly time travel. It's like grandparent magic. They can say one thing or do one thing, and I am suddenly six years old again.
I forget that so much time has passed and so much life has happened, and Grandaddy will be fixing Spencer, David and I an afternoon snack complete with ice cream and oreos.
I'll be getting ready to go somewhere, and Grandaddy will say, "Allison (Although he always said my name in a special way. It was more like "I-son", and it always sounded like a smile.), you know you can fall in love with a rich man just as easy as you can a poor man."
We will be in the driveway, and I've just missed my thousandth free throw, and he patiently explains the simplicity of lining up the ball, shooting and following through with my wrist, and as simple as that, the ball goes through the net like an afterthought.
Then, we are suddenly back in 7th grade. We are riding home with Grandaddy from school, and it's my turn to drive once we get out on our road. Spencer is next to me, and Grandaddy is on the end. I'm about to turn the big curve by Rebel Ridge, and I hear the familiar, "okay, be sure you don't ride your breaks like your mama does. Just let the engine slow you down."
We are playing poker at the beach. I think I'm around seven years old, and we're in the middle of a game of five-card stud. We are playing with paper, and suddenly I find myself out of paper. I quietly get up from the table, and I go find myself some more paper and bring it back to the table. My eyes purposefully don't meet his, and then I hear, "Now, Allison, that's not how it works." Grandaddy has told more people that story that any of my other merit-worthy moments.
It's the summer after my senior year in high school, and my Grandaddy and I are fishing in a tournament. I go over to his house for breakfast at 5am, and then we get in the boat. We're having a lovely day, and he has only told me to be quiet and don't disturb the fish a handful of times. We're fishing in the back of number two creek, and as I am fishing off the back of the boat, my eyes suddenly focus on a large green figure beginning to slither our way from all of three feet away from me. I scream, drop my pole, and run toward the front of the boat where Grandaddy is fishing. He calmly turns toward me, sees the menacing alligator at the end of the boat, and he says, "let me just finish my cast."
I am wearing a light blue, simple dress, and I am feeling a bit insecure with my senior date until he asks me to dance at band banquet my freshman year. I am wearing a silver two-piece a-line dress, and he asked my senior date if he could cut in at his prom. I am wearing a blue princess gown, and we are dancing at my junior prom. I am wearing a blue and purple sequined dress, and we are dancing at my Senior Prom. I am wearing the most beautiful white dress in the world, and we are dancing at my wedding. He tells me that he loves me and will always be rooting for me, and he looks up blinking his eyes.
I'm so very thankful for the precious gift of memories. I don't have adequate words to describe how thankful I am that he got to know my girls. He loved for Avaree to read to him. He played tea party with her many times, and he loved to watch her swing. While he didn't get to know Felicity as well, he loved her, and he loved holding her.
I really don't have words to describe this gentle giant of a man that I had the privilege of calling my Grandaddy for thirty years and will continue to for the rest of my life.
When we lived in Bridge City, Maw Maw and Grandaddy lived one street down from us, and when we moved to Hemphill, we lived with them until we built our house next door to theirs. Not many little girls get such a gift, but I did.
At the family viewing two days after my Grandaddy died, I saw him in the casket. I had just seen him over Spring Break. The girls and I came down for a few days, and we had a wonderful visit. He looked distinguished and handsome, but when I kissed his cheek, it was cold and hard. I knew that I was only kissing the remains of his earthly body, and as I had so dutifully and repeatedly explained to my very interested and concerned four-year-old, he was already with Jesus. But, there was something about his skin. I just needed to touch it. I held his hand. I kissed his cheek and forehead, and I looked into the face that had always been there for me--both silently and with words, and I wept. I wept for my own loss, my Mom's loss, my Maw Maw's loss, and I wept with the sorrow-filled joy that comes with the realization that he no longer limped or needed his cane, his foot didn't spasm on him, he didn't have to take all of his medicine, and he was whole in the presence of my Savior.
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These are just a few of my favorite pictures of my Grandaddy with my girls and me.
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These are just a few of my favorite pictures of my Grandaddy with my girls and me.
This was in a hotel room in Richardson, TX. Maw Maw and GD had come to Dallas for their high school reunion, and we went to visit with them for a few hours! Baby Avaree was enamored with GD and Maw Maw!
Tea Party!
Felicity, GD, and Evyn: Christmas 2013 at the Beach!
Maw Maw and GD with all four of their great grandchildren at the beach, Christmas 2013!
Avaree reading to Grandaddy: Spring Break 2014!
Grandaddy and Felicity: Spring Break 2014 at the lake!
The day after Grandaddy's funeral we went to Harper Chapel, and it was overwhelming to see his grave without the big tarp and everything and all the beautiful flowers that were sent for him.
This broke my heart, but Praise God that my Grandaddy is not really there. According to Avaree, he's playing basketball and learning soccer with Jesus.
Please continue to pray for my Maw Maw as she grieves the physical loss of her love for the last sixty-five years. I have watched her selflessly love and care for him all of my life. They were best friends, and they had as many future plans as they did memories. I cannot even imagine the immense hurt that she feels.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. --Psalm 34:18
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The girls and I ended our time at home with a little fishing off of Grandaddy's dock. I put crickets on the hooks, just like He taught me. Avaree and Bryer caught several fish. Grandaddy would have loved it!
Glenn wore many hats in his life. He was a coach, a mentor, a friend, a deacon, a mid-shipman, a college basketball player, a superintendent, a teacher, a gardener, and so much more, but his greatest legacy will forever fill the hearts of those that lovingly call him Grandaddy.
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