Barton Blessings

The short version of the events that followed after Avaree's birthday weekend are as follows… I had not being feeling well for awhile, and I had not taken the time to go to the doctor, so on Monday, I woke up feeling even worse. I had also had a swollen knee for about a week, and it was becoming difficult to walk. So, when Brandon got home from work that day, I left the kids with him and headed to Care Now. I ended up having cellulitis in my knee, bronchitis, and an ear infection. So, I got a shot and three antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory for my knee and came home. Fast forward to early Tuesday morning, and i woke up with extreme stomach pain. As the day progressed, I started vomitting (and I wasn't sure if it was from the pain for separate), but I tried my best to make it through the day. Around lunch time, Brandt started running 102 temperature, and he had a rough day, too. I spent the day nursing him, vomiting, and trying to appease Felicity, and keep her from getting sick. That afternoon, I had to call B to come home from work because I couldn't care for everyone or drive to get Avaree from school. My pain continued to get worse, and Brandt's fever did not go away. The next morning (Wednesday morning), Felicity woke up with 103, and I barely slept at all the night before. We somehow made it through the day, but by 3 am Thursday morning, I was in the bathtub just trying anything to get my pain and nausea to go away. I had already figured out that the point that I was experiencing a flare, but I knew that if I went to the hospital, it would not be a quick stay. So, I continued trying to take care of my sick babies, and I held onto the walls when I was trying to walk from room to room. Eventually, I texted two sweet friends and asked them to pray for me. I didm't want to go to the hospital, but I also couldn't continue to function in that state, and my babies were still sick. Next thing I knew, sweet Holly brought her kids to my friend Julia's house, and she knocked on my door. I nursed Brandt (little did I know for the last time), and I put him down for a nap, then Brandon drove me to the ER (as I cried all the way). It seems like we were only in the waiting area for a minute or two. I suppose when they see the look on your face and you tell them that your pain is higher than a 10, they get you to a room fairly quickly. Once we got to a room; however, it seemed like it took forever to get any relief. All I remember is continually vomiting everywhere. According to Brandon, I offered my ER doctor Brandon's Aggie football tickets for that weekend if he could get me some medicine and let me go home that day. :) I don't remember that, but that should tell you how sick I was, and how badly I didn't want to be in the hospital and away from my babies. I do remember them telling me that they were giving me some pain medicine, and it took about an hour for them to get me a combination of medicines that allowed me to lay back and not feel like I was dying. Then, I drank some contrast chalk, and they took me back for a cat scan. At that point, Brandon had to leave to go get Avaree from school, and I was feeling okay, so I told him to go. Little did I know that there was a shift change, and that my earlier nurse did not give me enough medicine to last through that shift change. So, not to be too graphic, but the tech hooked me up incorrectly to my IV, and two of my antibiotics and the potassium were going in the wrong order, so I started feeling like my whole arm was on fire and about to fall off. So, I started throwing up and having diarrhea all over myself. I tried to scream, but no one heard me. I remember looking at the hallway and seeing people pass by, but no one stopped. So, I started having a panic attack. That was awesome. By the time someone finally came by, I was in a fetal position and very, very, very sick. From then on, I was hooked up to heart monitors, and I was never left alone again. After I got cleaned up, I called Brandon, and I told him that he needed to come back because I thought I was dying. I was so serious, too. It was the absolute worst pain that I had ever been in, and I had no control over my body at all. He came back as soon as he could, and I was sufficiently medicated the rest of the evening. They finally moved us upstairs to a room around 8pm that night, and around 9pm, I was able to sit up a little, and it was the first time in several hours that I thought I could live through all the pain. I think I sufficiently scared myself enough that I followed every single tiny rule given to me by anyone with a medical badge. I even took every single horrible prednisone pill that was prescribed to be for nine weeks post hospital discharge. :) So, I was on ice chips for four days, and then I was on clear liquids/broth for the rest of our time in the hospital. I was there for six days, and it was so hard to be away from my kids. I went to the hospital on Thursday, and I was feeling okay enough for them to come visit me on Saturday!

I was on such heavy amounts of medication in the hospital, and I came home (six days later) on super heavy medications, too. In some ways, it was even harder to go home. I was so VERY thankful to be able to see and touch my babies, but i couldn't do anything that I normally did, and that was frustrating for me (and for them). My mom was incredible and took care of all three of them all by herself. I am so thankful that she was able to do that for us. They were all well cared for and loved.

Meanwhile, I was setting my goals super high at the hospital in hopes to get home to those sweet faces.

After six days, I got to come home! About an hour before leaving the hospital I was told that I had to stop breastfeeding, and that was devastating to me. It really just added to all that was going on in my body and was extremely emotional. I pumped for 2.5 more weeks before I got medicine to dry me up after my second round of mastisis.

After I got home, just sitting up on the couch was hard work at first, so I enjoyed being read to by Avaree a lot. :)

Meanwhile, my Mom was still primary caregiver for the kids until B got home! They enjoyed lots of playtime outside.

Little beauty.

Funny kiddos!

Pop Pop came up that weekend, and they took the kids to get yogurt!

The second weekend after I had gotten home from the hospital, we wanted to support our friend, Eli, in the walk to raise money for JDRF! Daddy and the girls went, but Mommy was just too sick to go. I wore my shirt though! I was still unable to eat anything but broth, yet I was on heavy antibiotic, so I spent every morning nauseated and vomiting after I took my medicine. Then, my prednisone was so strong, too. It was just a vicious cycle.

I cried when my mom left, even though I was ready for the kids to depend on their Mama again. I enjoyed watching Aggie football AT HOME with my favorite guy though. I can't even say enough about how great he was during all of this. This disease makes me feel the furthest thing from being pretty or even like a woman. It's demeaning and gross and awful and embarrassing. Yet, Brandon stayed with me every night in the hospital, even when I told him to go home. He jumped up and helped me get my weak body and iv pole to the bathroom all 9, 346 times per day (and night), and he told me I was beautiful even when I had bodily fluids all over me. He ate his food outside, so that I wouldn't have to smell it or cry because I was so hungry. He called friends for me when he knew I needed some girl time. He helped Avaree with her homework while I was unable. He put all my pills in a pill organizer when we got home. He was my advocate with all six doctors that had a different plan for me. And he didn't leave me alone in the hospital when I had a prednisone/starvation/exhaustion-induced breakdown and probably cried more tears than should even be allowed for no apparent reason (other than just wanting to go home). I am so thankful for Brandon. He's rough around the edges sometimes, but he has lived out his vows. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health…till death do us part."

Little sis gave me the cold shoulder at first, but she warmed back up quickly. Brandt took awhile too. That was hard. Avaree has seen me in the hospital so many times, it didn't bother her at all, but it was hard for the babies.

In the interim, after coming home from the hospital, I was still on crazy high doses (90mg) of prednisone and antibiotics. I was also very, very weak. I got very frustrated because I would spend all morning nauseous and vomiting, and then I would rally for the afternoon, but I couldn't even crawl across the floor to play with my kids. It probably took three weeks before I was able to do everything for myself (and my kids) again. I had precious friends that provided meals (even though I couldn't eat anything), my mom came back to help again when I had several appointments in a row, my MIL and BIL helped me one day, two friends took turns bringing Avaree home from school every day, and my friends also set up a schedule so that I was never by myself all day for those three weeks that I was still super sick and weak while B was at work and no family was here. I had to accept more help during that time than I ever have in my life. I am so very grateful for the precious community that I get to do life with. They put their love into action.

My sweet friend, Valerie, reading to the kids. :)

It hurt to hold Brandt for a couple of weeks, and I could barely lift him as it was, so he did a lot of floor playing, and we snuggled as much as we could. My kids were really SO patient with me!

These two loved snuggling in Mommy's bed every morning until my nausea wore off.

After three weeks of being able to do much, I was able to get off of the strong antibiotics, and I started getting stronger. At my doctor's suggestion, we tried to qualify for a research trial, and we went through all the testing, and appointments, but God closed the door. We did get a free colonoscopy out of it though, and we needed that. After five weeks, I was able to get off my GF low-residue diet, and now I'm just on a normal GF diet! I have even added coffee back into my life. :) I finished my prednisone about two weeks ago. (PRAISE THE LORD.) I lost 20 lbs, and thanks to prednisone, I gained 10 back, BUT I'm here, and I can tell that the inflammation is down. The medicine is difficult, but it works. Fast forward to today, and I started my new UC medication in hopes of achieving remission in 2016! I gave myself four injections (two in each leg) this morning. My sweet nurse ambassador was here to train me, and B came home for a bit for moral support! He provided effective comedy relief as I did each shot. It really got easier with each injection. I have to pinch my skin and then hold the injection down flush to my skin before pushing the medicine in for ten whole seconds (which seemed like forever at first). I'm just a little sore tonight, and I'm so thankful for the convince of being able to get this medication at home. And thanks to a crazy year and meeting our deductible, my first batch of medication was free. Of course, since this is an immuno-modulator, I will need to be careful of germs. Perhaps that was why there was a delay in getting my medication. Only God knew that my babies (and I) would be sick for 13 days, and I needed to be in a healthier state before getting this medication. Here's to a healthier me in 2016!
God is good. All the time.

The pause button was hit on my life in early October, and I am just now catching up on the blog. The last weekend in September was super busy! It was Avaree's birthday party, we had family coming in, Avaree had a game to cheer at, we had cheer pictures, we had church and meetings, and it was my birthday, too. It was just busy! ;)

We started out the weekend by going to one of our favorite local parks for their Food Truck Friday Night! We enjoyed some yummy food, and the girls played at the park!

Steel City Pops was there!

Pretty sister!

Earlier that day, little sister had gone on a morning date with Gigi while Avaree was at school, and I worked on getting stuff ready for the party!

They went to her favorite park!

I think she had a great time! :)

…and enjoyed her one on one time with Gigi!

:) …and I think Gigi did, too!

Of course, she had to stop for a snack.

Meanwhile, back at the park with Mommy and Daddy that night (my pictures are out of order), she was climbing up the rock wall! It is a good day for a two-year-old when you get to play at the park twice in one day!

Mommy and Daddy at the park!

Early the next morning, it was picture time for Upward Sports! These two are going to get married one day. Oh how awesome that would be. Either way, we have lots of precious pictures of them together!

Avaree and Phillip!

Little Sis enjoyed cheering on big sis!

Meanwhile, back at the party (that I've already blogged about), I got to see my twin on our 32nd birthday! We look just a like, right? ;)

My Mom was dealing with a little Felicity/Brandt jealousy! ;) Felicity thought that Brandt was the best thing ever until he started invading her space. Now, it just depends on her mood! ;)

That afternoon, Gigi and Felicity took a nap on the couch, while Perch and Daddy watched football and Avaree played on the i-Pad! They partied hard!

Pretty sissy!

This picture is important to me now! Five days after this was the last time I ever nursed Brandt. I pumped for a couple of weeks after that, but this is the last picture that I have. I love his little feet sticking out!